A college athlete, scholar student, active member of the community, a helping hand to friends, and always smiling. That was how the world saw me. Would you think this individual struggles with Mental Health? I know I wouldn’t. Then I learned about a whole different side of me at the beginning of my Senior Year in High School. First, let’s take it back where it all started.
I started sports when I was three years old. I grew up trying almost every sport and it gave me the chance to find who I wanted to be. It was my outlet to escape from reality. When I got to high school, I became a three-sport athlete during my junior year after trying different sports when I first entered high school. I competed in Tennis, Bowling and Track and Field, I was part of five clubs: Student Government, DECA, Varsity Club, Project Lead, and Unified Bowling while volunteering on many occasions. Let’s just say busy is an understatement. It was these experiences that showed how much I loved being involved and I knew I wanted to do the same when I got to college. Fast forward three years, and I am getting ready for my final year of high school.
I had a lot riding at the beginning of my Senior Year. I had to take my SATs once again due to my poor performance the first time, I was deciding where I wanted to play tennis, and in the back of my head, I had the pressure of wanting to finish with lots of highs at the end of my high school career. When my anxiety and stress began to skyrocket, I had small labral tears in my shoulder and hip from overuse that was affecting my training, I was struggling in a class, and I still did not know where I wanted to play tennis with signing day approaching quickly. It was hard, but I got myself back on track and had an exciting end of fall. I signed to play collegiate tennis, my tennis team went undefeated in the conference and won after thirty-one years, and for a good amount of time, I was able to relax and enjoy the last fall season events of my senior year.
My life was great, I did not have to worry about college decisions, or take another SAT, but I was still feeling “off” in a sense and I had no idea why. It escalated to where I would go to school, but mentally, I would not be there. I did not want to involve my friends, teachers, and family because I never thought it was a big issue. I thought I could hide it, but my teachers began to notice. They told me it looked like I was carrying the weight of the world on me. I had gotten to such a low in my life, I was really lost.
I was lost because it was not just one trigger that set me off, it was a culmination of factors: I had injuries that were not getting better, college was uncertain, but I still managed to find the positive outlook on it. I did not understand why I was still feeling like this even after I made changes to my mindset. The anxiety of not knowing what was going to happen was a constant pit in my stomach. It was a merry-go-round that never stopped spinning. One minute I was smiling full of joy, then the next moment there was this giant weight on my chest.
I finally got my act together when one of my teachers made the acknowledgment of my well-being and that is where the conversation began. Just talking it out really helped, along with journaling, working out, self-care and much more. All of these coping mechanisms fueled me with some fight and flipped the switch of my outlook on life. It is crazy to think how one conversation can change a situation in an instant. I made that final push to come to the realization that it is okay to not be okay. I saw that my life was too good to waste and I made it my goal to live my best life no matter what. I was excited to enjoy the rest of my senior year, then a global pandemic hit. It is crazy how life can take a turn so fast.
Now, close to a year of when my life changed, it is remarkable to see where I am today. This is not the end, I will have bad days, but now I know how to cope and bounce back faster. Even after my time “down in the dumps,” I found my groove and began to help others with their battles of mental health, support my community during a global pandemic, and continued to involve myself within student organizations and activities. I am stronger, more resilient, and here to fight for a good life. If a global pandemic and episodes of depression can’t stop me, nothing can.
– Skylar Walder
Major in college: Secondary Education Social Studies
Personal mantra or favorite quote: “Live life to the fullest and do things the right way not the easy way” – Mr. Bradley
