I’ve always been an active person. I played so many sports as a kid – soccer, ice skating, swimming, and eventually chose to focus on field hockey, indoor track and field, and lacrosse. Since I am a three sport athlete during the school year, I definitely have had to learn time management from the start. I haven’t been able to participate in many clubs, but I also get to be a part of a team for 10 weeks at a time! I always felt more connected to team sports, because I got to have people that I could talk to any time, and I wouldn’t have to go through the awkward stages of making new friends. Usually our off seasons are 2-3 weeks, so I could take time for me to catch up on schoolwork, or hang out with friends. But, I think the structure and schedule of sports being so present in my life has helped me stay grounded. When I have a sport to go to every day for 10 weeks, with practices from 3-5 every day (besides games), I get into a routine. I’ve learned from school sports that I do well with routines. With sports, I also get to move my body, which is an important part of my life. I crave the rush of adrenaline after a tough workout, or the feeling of a really good stretch. Sports bring together three things I love: moving my body, having a set-in-stone routine, and being part of a team, a part of something bigger than myself. I’ve always been drawn to team sports because they secure a group of 20-25 friends whom I get to hang out with every day. We found unity together, always having each other’s backs. Win as a team, lose as a team.
I’ve always enjoyed exercising, but unfortunately, I am extremely accident prone. I’ve sprained my ankles numerous times, broken one ankle, broken one hip, suffered from shin splints for months, and torn a ligament in my ankle. In March before my freshman year of high school, I started getting super tight shins after working out, and after months of testing, I was diagnosed with medial tibial stress syndrome (shin splints in fancy medical terms). I struggled with them until November of my freshman year, upwards of 8 months. I couldn’t run, I couldn’t practice, I couldn’t do anything that would put stress on my shins. I struggled both physically and mentally, and fell into one of the hardest depressive episodes I’ve had. I was forced to just sit with my thoughts for months on end without being able to go to practice or exercise as an escape.
Thankfully, by November I was able to start running again. I was able to start indoor track and field and to be a part of a team again after having to take the fall season off from sports. I could finally enjoy sports again. I forgot how refreshing it was to stand in line for stretches and catch up on life with friends. I was able to have a goal in sight: state championships. I could see the progress I was making in indoor track; I could see physical evidence such as my times that proved to me that my hard work was paying off. Then came the spring season of my sophomore year. That’s when COVID happened. The lacrosse season I spent four months working hard to prepare for was just gone. Once again, my mental health struggled. My anxiety was worsening, and I second guessed every little thing in my life.
I started an outpatient partial program over Zoom to help me manage these thoughts and feelings. I got the help I needed, and I learned skills to help me get my anxiety under control. After four months, my field hockey team started to have some socially distanced practices. This gave me the chance to not only play again, but also socialize after isolating for so long. My family and I went on hikes and walks during the early stages of quarantine, but I didn’t get to exercise or practice as much as I had before. The only social interaction I had prior was weekly Zoom calls with different classes for school. I think what helped me then was that my club field hockey team started to have socially distanced practices. I was able to drive up, twice a week and then not only practice after four months, but also socialize after isolating for so long (which by the way did NOT help with all that loneliness, separation, and anxiety I was feeling). Our season was looking promising, and after a two week postponement we officially started. It was shortened, but at least we got to have a sports season again.
The day before our first game, I found myself admitted into the local hospital. I was having suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t manage them, so my psychiatrist recommended going to the ER. I spent 6 days in the hospital waiting for a bed at the psychiatrist hospital, and then spent 8 days in the psych hospital itself. Those 14 days were some of the hardest of my life, but incredibly needed. I finally admitted to myself that I needed help, and I reached out to those around me. I got to go back to the sport I loved, we finished second in the state, and I couldn’t have gotten there if I hadn’t asked for help.
Being depressed or anxious doesn’t define me. I’m an athlete, a sister, a daughter, a student, and so much more. I hope that you learn from my story that it’s okay to ask for help when it’s needed and it is absolutely needed.
– Mia Swenson
Current favorite music artist: Taylor Swift now and forever
Favorite TV show: Grey’s Anatomy!
Dream travel location: Hawaii!
Hobbies outside of athletics: I love reading, but also spending time with young kids, they crack me up. I also love following women’s soccer!
Personal mantra or favorite quote: “This too shall pass” or “Life will out”
